Love the One You're With

Love the One You're With

The New York Times bestselling author of Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof delivers another captivating novel about women and the choices that define them. This is the story for anyone who has ever wondered: How can I truly love the one I'm with when I can't forget the one who got away?Ellen and Andy's first year of marriage doesn't just seem perfect, it i...

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Title:Love the One You're With
Author:Emily Giffin
Rating:
ISBN:0312348673
Edition Language:English
Format Type:Hardcover
Number of Pages:342 pages

Love the One You're With Reviews

  • Sarah
    Jan 07, 2008

    The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.

    This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the

    The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.

    This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the life she's chosen is the life she was meant to have.

    I thought the character of Ellen was written very well. So well, in fact, that it makes me wonder if the author has been in this situation or if a close friend of hers has. I particularly thought the fact that Ellen had lost her mother at an early age was handled very well. This aspect of Ellen's life influenced many of her decisions and gave some insight into her psyche. In almost every chapter Ellen (who is also the narrator) mentioned how much she missed her mother, and while some readers might think it was too much, it felt real to me. I've had close friends lose a parent and I know that it is something they think about every single day.

    I also thought Giffin perfectly captured the nuances of a new marriage - both its simple joys and its bumps in the road. It occurred to me that unmarried readers might not fully appreciate Ellen's feelings or motivations as marriage is something you can really only understand if you've experienced it.

    While the character of Ellen was superbly developed, I thought

    of the supporting cast - including the husband, the ex-boyfriend, the sister, and the best friend - were lacking. Although the book is written in the first person from Ellen's perspective, I thought more could be done to make these other characters come to life. This is particularly true of the character of Margot, Ellen's best friend and sister-in-law. I just didn't care about her.

    Finally, reading this book made me ache to return to New York! It wasn't about the glamour and superficiality of New York like so many "chick lit" books I've read, but I thought it really captured the essence of what NY truly is: the burroughs, the culture, the pace. The feeling of being at the center of the world.

  • Danielle
    Jan 24, 2008

    First off, I couldn't put this book down, I started it on Sunday (late morning) and finished it Monday evening.

    This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be stronger due

    First off, I couldn't put this book down, I started it on Sunday (late morning) and finished it Monday evening.

    This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be stronger due to the blood relationship between Margot and Andy.

    Anyways, I don't want to say too much, I had a feeling as to how the book would end given the title...it was just my intrigue to see how Ellen would get from point a to point b.

    The premise of the story is something I think most people can relate to, male or female, as at some point in our lives I suspect we have all felt the same way about the road not taken. Whether it be a relationship, a job, college...etc. So this made Ellen very easy to relate to...

    There is no tie to Giffin's other books so this one could be read before the others.

  • Karina
    Feb 23, 2008

    I remember when Emily Giffin's first book came out, and since it dealt with cheating, I did not pick it up for the longest time. Then I read a thoroughly positive review of it (I think on chicklitbooks.com, which may no longer be around) and I decided I had to see what the fuss was about.

    The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.

    Since that first book, I have run out to b

    I remember when Emily Giffin's first book came out, and since it dealt with cheating, I did not pick it up for the longest time. Then I read a thoroughly positive review of it (I think on chicklitbooks.com, which may no longer be around) and I decided I had to see what the fuss was about.

    The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.

    Since that first book, I have run out to buy each and every one of Emily Giffin's books, and even got one autographed by her. As much as I loved them all, I preferred the first one since on some level, it was just more emotionally gripping than the others.

    has that same emotional depth, that same messiness that you cringe at but can't look away from or stop reading.

    Ellen finally has all that she's dreamed of: a handsome husband she loves, a successful and satisfying career as a photographer, and an apartment in the city she loves. Then, walking across a random street, she sees the one other love of her life: Leo. Leo recognizes Ellen, calls her, and they talk; he then offers her the job of her career, which she cannot turn down. She chooses not to tell either her husband or best friend about this encounter, thinking it will end at this, but it doesn't. And the more she sees Leo, the more she questions her life with Andy, especially once they leave NY for Atlanta.

    I won't say more since I don't want to give it away, but if you love a good, fast, riveting read, definitely pick this up.

  • Angeld01
    Jun 06, 2008

    This was another great book by Emily Giffen staying true to her form of regular people making some tough and non-conventional choices. I both disliked, and related to Ellen. I also liked how the scope of this book covered both the modern love story (in that the one we end up with is rarely the 1st one we have loved) and how losing Andy would have meant losing so much more for Ellen.

    It's hard to say what I would do if a smoldering love from the past were to appear - but as Ellie eventually found

    This was another great book by Emily Giffen staying true to her form of regular people making some tough and non-conventional choices. I both disliked, and related to Ellen. I also liked how the scope of this book covered both the modern love story (in that the one we end up with is rarely the 1st one we have loved) and how losing Andy would have meant losing so much more for Ellen.

    It's hard to say what I would do if a smoldering love from the past were to appear - but as Ellie eventually found out -ex boyfriends are generally an "x" for that reason. However, someone who has broken up with you had a hold over you that isn't the same should you have broken up with them. This is something I have learned the hard way.

    That said, I did not like Leo from the moment he first showed up. I agree with Margot in that he seems smug and full of himself - even years later. And while Margot didn’t have the right to make the decision she did – I understand why she did. All of Leo’s "sorrys" fall flat to me. I think Leo, always has been, and remains a very selfish man.

    I thought it was interesting how Ellie wasn't sure if getting everything she wanted was pedantic, or a dream come true. I have the same internal struggle; I want a house and children. No! Wait! Too boring!

    I never, ever agreed with Ellie’s choice to pursue a relationship with Leo & I firmly believe she had an affair and cheated on her husband. The plane flight, and of course when she kissed Leo. But I prayed and prayed that the title of the book would turn out to be true. Because while I understood the allure of Leo, there was never a moment I wasn’t rooting for Andy.

  • Jillian
    Jun 08, 2008

    I was very disappointed by this book. I really liked her other novels and found them to be quick, fun, beach-reads that still conjured up some feelings and life lessons. I felt nothing with this book except anger towards the main character and sort of annoyed at certain scenarios that were so incredibly far fetched that it made me say "Are you kidding me?" out loud. I wasn't rooting for anyone; I wasn't happy at the end of the book, or sad that it was over like I was with Something Blue. I found

    I was very disappointed by this book. I really liked her other novels and found them to be quick, fun, beach-reads that still conjured up some feelings and life lessons. I felt nothing with this book except anger towards the main character and sort of annoyed at certain scenarios that were so incredibly far fetched that it made me say "Are you kidding me?" out loud. I wasn't rooting for anyone; I wasn't happy at the end of the book, or sad that it was over like I was with Something Blue. I found the story was lacking substance and that with a different spin, it could have been a much better, more believable story.

    And what ex-boyfriend waltzes back in to his married ex-girlfriend's life 8 years later and thinks that he's good enough for her to leave her marriage even though they've had zero contact? I had a difficult time understanding or seeing the significance of Leo and Ellie's past relationship in order for it to have the obsession effect on her almost a decade later. I understand she was a mess when they broke up but shouldn't she have dealt with those feelings before she got married? Their interaction was minimal but when they were together, I didn't feel the intensity that she talked about so much. Which was why I felt the cheating part was so disgusting because there was nothing there. And I believe that she started cheating the moment she held hands with him on the plane - right up to the sneaky emails, texts, phone calls, and kiss scene at the end.

    Even though in Something Borrowed, cheating is a main element to the story, she wrote it in such a way that you didn't hate Rachel or Dex for doing what she they were doing, instead you understood. You don't have to agree with something to understand it and that's what was lacking for me in this novel. I just felt like the story didn't go anywhere until the end and then everything happened in like a two hour span and that was that. She had all these life-changing moments squished into like three sentences.

  • J.M. Cornwell
    Aug 04, 2008

    A modern yuppie romance.

    Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.

    Leo contacts Ellen aga

    A modern yuppie romance.

    Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.

    Leo contacts Ellen again with a career-making offer to photograph a celebrity in Los Angeles. Her sister Suzanne goes with her because Suzanne is a fan and ends up acting as chaperone. Leo is writing an article about the celebrity and Ellen is taking the pictures. Ellen leaves feeling as though she has dodged a bullet until Leo shows up on the plane sitting next to her. They talk and fall asleep holding hands, waking the next morning and say goodbye once again, this time on Leo’s doorstep. Ellen doesn’t plan to see him again, but Leo has other plans, and so does Andy.

    Andy quit his job at a high-powered law firm in New York and wants to move back to Atlanta to be near his family and partner in his father’s law practice. Ellen reluctantly agrees. She’s rich and her handsome husband loves her, but nothing feels right. She misses the electric excitement of New York City and her career – and she misses Leo. Did she make a mistake marrying Andy, moving to Atlanta, giving up her career . . . not giving Leo another chance?

    Not everyone gets the dream – handsome husband, big house, country club, loving family, wealth – but Emily Giffin makes it seem possible in

    . Ellen, Leo and Andy are well ensconced in lucrative careers. The men are handsome and the women are beautiful. Everyone, except for Suzanne, is rich and not all that attainable for the average Joe or Jane. Despite these fantasies, Giffin’s tale of exploring the road not taken has much to commend it.

    The emotions resonate clearly and the situation, although a little out of the average woman’s reach, is basic. What do you do when you find out your best friend kept you from reuniting with the man you loved? Even in the rarefied atmosphere of country clubs and jaunts across the country to photograph celebrities and feature articles, it comes down to the basics – relationships – and this is something Giffin portrays with a lack of guile and plenty of heart. Giffin’s prose is clean and uncluttered and the characters eminently authentic. Only one plot point seemed a bit contrived – a phone call at a crucial moment – but the rest of the story is one to which anyone caught between the present and the past can relate.

    is a story that goes straight to the heart of what it means to love and be loved, and to find a way to live with difficult choices.

    ###

  • Emily
    Aug 11, 2009

    Possibly never have I disliked a book more than I did this one. If possible- I would give this book a negative star rating. Unfortunately goodreads will not allow me to do this. So instead I’ll describe why my initial response upon finishing this book was one of depression at the realization I’ll never get the time back in my life that I wasted reading this book. My extreme distaste for this story stems from a number of things. To begin, I pretty much hated all the characters. Every single one.

    Possibly never have I disliked a book more than I did this one. If possible- I would give this book a negative star rating. Unfortunately goodreads will not allow me to do this. So instead I’ll describe why my initial response upon finishing this book was one of depression at the realization I’ll never get the time back in my life that I wasted reading this book. My extreme distaste for this story stems from a number of things. To begin, I pretty much hated all the characters. Every single one. Across the board they’re incredibly unlikeable and empty. Even the main character Ellen who I think we’re supposed to sympathize with, comes across as shallow. I'm incapable of feeling bad for her. When faced with picking between her wealthy, well connected husband and an ex-boyfriend from the past “the one that got away” she makes the wrong choice in my opinion. The ending of the book is predictable and entirely too neatly resolved. It left me wondering what the point of reading this was??! It will take something drastic to convince me to read another of Griffin's books again. Like maybe a natural disaster... in which I end up trapped somewhere with nothing to read but one of her books.

  • Sarika
    Feb 11, 2013

    This book was awful. God, it was so awful. It isn't even worth a full review and so I will try to summarize it in a few lines.

    Ellen: I love Andy SO SO SO MUCH!

    Andy: I'm practically the epitome of a good person, and the author paints me in a way that makes me seem perfect. So yay: the story should just finish at this point.

    Leo: *glances at ellen*

    Ellen: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. SWOON!! No no no no no I love andy yes yes yes yes yes I love leo.

    Andy: Let's move to Atlanta! Because I want to make you hap

    This book was awful. God, it was so awful. It isn't even worth a full review and so I will try to summarize it in a few lines.

    Ellen: I love Andy SO SO SO MUCH!

    Andy: I'm practically the epitome of a good person, and the author paints me in a way that makes me seem perfect. So yay: the story should just finish at this point.

    Leo: *glances at ellen*

    Ellen: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. SWOON!! No no no no no I love andy yes yes yes yes yes I love leo.

    Andy: Let's move to Atlanta! Because I want to make you happy!

    Ellen: Okay! I am going to completely agree to this but then make it out like you forced me to once we get there! And then, proving Emily Giffin's inability to characterize, you will suddenly become an anti-female dictator with no respect for your work. Because characters TOTALLY just flip their personalities towards the climax of the novel without any premeditation.

    Leo: *glances at Ellen*

    Ellen: I WILL ALWAYS LOVEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU! But I'm still going to pick Andy and leave you hanging, although you clearly gave up your life for me.

    Andy and Margot: We're going to take you back despite the fact that you're a cheating tease!

    Ellen: I'm not going to give you guys ANY explanation to Leo or Andy regarding what a tease I am and won't ever tell anyone the extent of my cheating. I will justify this with three ending sentences in the novel which are supposed to be philosophical but have no actual link to the novel and is a sorry attempt on the part of Giffin to save the sorry excuse of a book.

  • Jennifer
    Dec 13, 2014

    is a standalone, women's fiction/chick-lit novel written by author

    . Ms. Giffin's novels have been hit or miss with me, and when they miss, they miss big time. I have zero appreciation for marital affairs or romantic deception in general that end in happily-ever-afters, so when the married female lead began making cringe-worthy choices when an old flame resurfaces, I considered doing a one-woman boycott. I finished the book though and I'm happy I did. Fortuna

    is a standalone, women's fiction/chick-lit novel written by author

    . Ms. Giffin's novels have been hit or miss with me, and when they miss, they miss big time. I have zero appreciation for marital affairs or romantic deception in general that end in happily-ever-afters, so when the married female lead began making cringe-worthy choices when an old flame resurfaces, I considered doing a one-woman boycott. I finished the book though and I'm happy I did. Fortunately, this novel's title came true at the end, and although I had a “That was close!” feeling, I was left feeling hopeful and satisfied :)

    An interview with Ms. Giffin was included at the end of the audiobook I listened to. I've often wondered why she doesn't write your typical, fun chick-lit with likable characters and she answered this by saying that real-world relationships aren't always pretty. They are far from perfect and people make choices that go against the grain sometimes, and she reflects this in her writing. As a reader, I can acknowledge the value in this. If all books were rainbow and unicorn brain-candy then many learning/growth opportunities would be lost. I guess today I was just craving more of an escape, and Ms. Giffin's real-life fiction didn't quite give it to me...I spent too much of my time squeezing my eyes shut at the sure-to-come consequences. But her style is obviously working for lots of readers, so read the synopsis of her some of her books and see if they're for you!

  • Christina
    Aug 10, 2016

    2.5 stars.

    I've done it. I've now read all of Emily Giffin's novels (so far). I avoided this one for a while though, because from the description, you get a bit of a feeling that it might deal with cheating. And ch

    2.5 stars.

    I've done it. I've now read all of Emily Giffin's novels (so far). I avoided this one for a while though, because from the description, you get a bit of a feeling that it might deal with cheating. And cheating is a touchy subject with me...I finally decided to just give it a chance and see how it went, since I had yet to pick up a Giffin book that I didn't love...this might be that book, I think.

    Ellen and Andy have a wonderful marriage. They live in an apartment in New York. Andy is a lawyer, Ellen is a photographer. They have been married less than a year, but so far, the marriage is all sunshine and rainbows.

    Then one fateful afternoon, Ellen sees Leo, in the middle of a crosswalk...Leo, the one that got away. She goes into a nearby diner to try and collect herself, when her cell starts ringing. Turns out she has the same number that she did while they were dating all those years ago, so he took a chance and dialed that number. He asks where she went and when she tells him the name of the diner, he tells her he'll be there momentarily. And so starts the story.

    Ellen spends the whole of the novel grappling with her emotions, which are pulling her all over the place. Did she make the right choice in marrying Andy or did she settle for him? Was Leo the great love of her life? What would've happened if they had stayed together? Would they have made it? Throughout the book, Ellen had a ton of internal dialogue going on and would bounce between guilt for what she was feeling and then give herself false justifications for why she felt her feelings were understandable.

    Even in the end, she was still not 100% honest about everything and I found the way her story ended to be a stretch, just a bit too unbelievable for me. Overall, I just wasn't very happy with this book.

    Honestly, as a MC, Ellen just pissed me off...a lot. From the beginning of the book, she wasn't honest with Andy about anything, which is when I started to get frustrated with her. Especially since Andy is painted in a terrific light. Giffin makes him seem like the ideal husband...caring, wealthy, handsome, family man, good sense of humor. To me, Leo just didn't compare. So I couldn't really understand why, eight years after he and Ellen ended their relationship, she is still so affected by Leo. She has what she herself describes a wonderfully happy marriage, yet she starts walking a dangerous line, wondering "What if?". I just couldn't relate to her and that, along with the fact that her decisions just angered me, made it pretty hard to get through this book quickly.

    But, I do still like Giffin's writing style. Out of all her novels, this is really the only miss for me. I'll continue to read her books in the future. But hopefully there will be no more about the one who got away.