History Is All You Left Me

History Is All You Left Me

When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.To make things worse, the only person who...

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Title:History Is All You Left Me
Author:Adam Silvera
Rating:
ISBN:1616956933
Edition Language:English
Format Type:ebook
Number of Pages:320 pages

History Is All You Left Me Reviews

  • Emily May
    Dec 05, 2016

    I stayed up late last night to finish this book and, I confess,

    .

    is a deeply sad book, perfectly in tune with human nature and yet never manipulative as it explores love, friendship and grief between four boys.

    Perhaps Silvera is just f

    I stayed up late last night to finish this book and, I confess,

    .

    is a deeply sad book, perfectly in tune with human nature and yet never manipulative as it explores love, friendship and grief between four boys.

    Perhaps Silvera is just fantastic at putting himself into other people's minds, but I got the sense that this was a very personal story, told from someone who knows a lot about love and loss. The book is driven by its characters - Griffin, Theo, Wade and Jackson - jumping back and forth between the loss of Theo in the present and their intertwining histories.

    The story (or "history) is revealed by Griffin as he comes to term with the death of his best friend and first love, Theo. We soon learn that there is a complex web of relationships at play here, as we are introduced to Theo's new boyfriend from California, Jackson, and the third member of their friendship group, Wade. Theo was the group's anchor and they all find themselves confused and helpless without him - Griffin is especially torn between his dislike for Jackson and the feeling that he can relate to him most of all.

    The small, simple observations on people and relationships cut really deep for me.

    . It's in the little ways he reveals that past relationships are not quite over, not really. It's in the inexplicable sadness of moving on. It's in all the things the characters don't say. It's in the pretending you're fine when you're not; you're really not.

    And yet, though this sounds so bleak, it's also balanced by its warmth, humour, nerdy references and Griffin's numerous quirks. For LGBT readers tired of gay romances being horror stories about homophobia, this one isn't about that at all - it's full of supportive parents and friends; positive representation of gay AND bisexual boys; teens having sex without shame, and with protection.

    Such a smart, emotional read. There is something so intrinsically sad about not saying what you want to say and pretending you're fine, pretending you're over someone and watching them move on without you. It's even sadder because there is no judgement - there are no villains here, just four teenage boys doing their best.

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  • Emma Giordano
    Dec 11, 2016

    SIT TIGHT MY FRIENDS BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE BEST DAMN YA RELEASE OF 2017.

    I sincerely do not know to start this review because I just finished reading 5 minutes ago and to be honest, I'm having trouble breathing because I'm so overwhelmed.

    was nothing less than a masterpiece; it's enticing, it's thrilling, it's reflective, it's heart-breaking. It's everything you could possibly want it to be and more and I cannot recommend this book enough to you a

    SIT TIGHT MY FRIENDS BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE BEST DAMN YA RELEASE OF 2017.

    I sincerely do not know to start this review because I just finished reading 5 minutes ago and to be honest, I'm having trouble breathing because I'm so overwhelmed.

    was nothing less than a masterpiece; it's enticing, it's thrilling, it's reflective, it's heart-breaking. It's everything you could possibly want it to be and more and I cannot recommend this book enough to you all. Truthfully, I don't think I have a single negative word to say about this novel because it was almost unrealistically fantastic.

    Adam Silvera is the kind of author who you could read ANYTHING he'd written and know it was from him. Adam's personal voice is so distinctive and it was such a pleasure to see his personality shine through his words, even in the darkest moments. It's something I noticed in his previous novel,

    (also 10/10 recommend) and I'm so happy to see his individuality stand strong as he grows as a writer! There are a million and ten quotes I want to share with you all because this book showcases so many important thoughts through Adam's words, but I will be sure to gush in my spoiler-y video review coming this January!

    The characters in this book are CRAZY interesting. I think my feelings on each of them changed throughout the book, which is not a feeling I'm familiar with. There are characters I loved at first but grew to resent. There are characters I originally was indifferent to that I ended up falling in love with. Because so much of this novel is focused on the progression of the characters and what we learn about them through reading, I don't want to go into TOOO much detail. What I do want to say about all of them is that I'm so happy we got to know each character individually and not just know them as their relationships to each other. They all have their own "histories", their own interests, their own quirks, their own battles and it was so refreshing to not just know a

    of characters, but actually get to know the characters themselves.

    Griffin is our main protagonist, telling his story through "History" and "Today" as he reflects on his past with his newly deceased first love, as well as his current state of bereavement. He is a character I had trouble agreeing with at times because of his decisions, but his vulnerability was really admirable to me. His experiences with grief are extremely unique, but the world truly needed his story and I can only hope you all benefit from it as I have.

    Theo, our late ex-love (not a spoiler-it's in the synopsis, guys) is another character I struggled with, as we not only get to know him while he's alive, but we also learn so much about him through other's grieving. I have so many questions about him; his thoughts (as the book is entirely from Griffin's point of view), his motivations, and where he stands on the events of current times from where he is now. All I can say is that learning about his character was quite a unique reading experience that I will definitely take with me as I delve into to other books.

    Jackson, Theo's most recent boyfriend, is another character I find super intriguing. I somewhat resented him at first as I started on "Team Griffin" for obvious reasons, but Jackson played such a unique role in this story that you can't ignore. Whatever your feelings on him may be, he is really a one of a kind character in literature.

    Wade, I feel, is highly underrated, being the invisibility cloak to Theo's elder wand and Griffin's resurrection stone (yeah, I know y'all like that analogy). While he is not the most important character to the plot of the story, I feel Wade is the missing piece this story needed. He's real, he's patient, he's not afraid to say what's on his mind and stand up for himself, and I loved him. Total "precious cinnamon bun" alert, here.

    One of the greatest things about History is the representation. As a straight woman, I can't exactly speak for the accuracy of the 3 main characters all being queer, nor would I ever attempt to. What I will say is I read this with the knowledge I've gained from LGBTQIAP+ readers in mind the entire time, and I constantly found myself reflecting on how healthy the stories of these boys seemed, the positivity surrounding their experiences (despite the whole, you know, love of your life dying thing) and how happy I was to see sexuality portrayed in such a casual, authentic light. As this Adam's second own voices novel, I have no doubts about his capabilities to write realistic LGBT characters the way they should be written. I believe if you were a fan of the representation in More Happy, you will be equally satisfied reading the stories of these three queer boys.

    Also concerning representation and having a bit more experience in the mental health department, as Griffin suffers from OCD, I was extremely pleased with how his compulsions were expressed in the novel. It is displayed in it's true nature, Adam shows mental illness exactly as it manifests in real life. Although I have never been diagnosed with OCD, as a psychology student who has suffered from related mental health issues, there were many powerful scenes that did a fantastic job portraying this disorder. Adam can most definitely add another gold star to his "Times I've Accurately Portrayed Diverse Topics" folder.

    All in all, I am totally blown away by

    . I went in expecting to really enjoy it, but I came out BURSTING of love. While I adore More Happy, I think History is currently my favorite of Adam's works (though my hands have also been itching for

    for almost a year now). This book is quite the beaut, and it's now at the top of my recommendations list.

    I'm thoroughly impressed beyond my highest expectations, and I cannot wait for all of you to experience this phenomenal work on January 17th, 2017. I'm so excited to share my full spoiler review with you guys early next year and just GUSHHH about all the things I loved (a.k.a. everything). I'm ALSO insanely excited to help co-host Adam's NYC Launch event for History with Michael BookLion at Books of Wonder on January 16th! (Yeah, you'll get the book a day early!) If you're too far away to attend, be sure to pre-order

    and check out historyisallyouleftme.com to enter to win a trip to NYC for the event, courtesy of Soho Press!

    Ending statement: This book was amazing. Please read it. You won't regret it.

  • Angela
    May 09, 2016

    f

    ollows Griffin, a guy who is suffering the loss of his ex-boyfriend Theo, who just died in a drowning accident. On top of grieving the death of Theo, is he also struggling with his OCD getting out of hand, pushing away the other member of their 'squad", Wade, and finally meeting Jackson. The boy who stole Theo away from him.

    f

    ollows events from both present and "history" weaving together and leading up

    f

    ollows Griffin, a guy who is suffering the loss of his ex-boyfriend Theo, who just died in a drowning accident. On top of grieving the death of Theo, is he also struggling with his OCD getting out of hand, pushing away the other member of their 'squad", Wade, and finally meeting Jackson. The boy who stole Theo away from him.

    f

    ollows events from both present and "history" weaving together and leading up to the moment of Theo's death and Griffins life now.

    Griffin is broken when this story starts out. He feels he's barley living and that no one understands what he's is really going through. He isn't sleeping, is barely eating, and isn't going to school. He can't stop thinking of Theo and his history. Things seems like they can only get worse when he has to meet Jackson. At first Griffin wants nothing to do with him. Things change once he starts thinking Jackson might be the only one who truly gets what going on, and figured them getting along is what would have made Theo happy. Griffin, though depressed, was still a

    likeable character. I enjoyed his sense of humor, his OCD quirks, and how real his character felt. His thoughts were very authentic and made connecting with him effortless. Theo, though actually never alive in this book, felt it. He is so adorable and I could see why both guys fell for him. Jackson was sweet, kind, and brought a depth into the story that I wasn't expecting. My favorite person however was Wade. Something about his personality drew me in. Loved his humor, loyalty, laid back manor, and really just everything about him. I found myself anticipating the moments when he would show up.

    When it came to

    plot I knew two things: it would read to a T like a true contemporary and that it would be a massive heart-breaker... I was 100% correct too. There were lighter moments in the story, like the condom buying scene which has me in stitches... then there were these heavier scenes like one that came towards the end of the book that came out of nowhere! It had me balling my eyes out! I was at work reading and had to avoid eye contact with my co-workers because it was so bad and I didn't want them to know I was sobbing.

    Adam Silvera gives me hope that one day I will fully love contemporary books. He is also giving such a fresh, new, and important voice for literature.

    g

    ave me everything I wanted and then some. This novel might be coming out in 2017, but will more than likely make it on to my 2016 favorites. If you haven't added this book to you TBR do it now.

  • Larry Hoffer
    Jan 21, 2017

    I'm at about 4.5 stars with this one.

    Oh, man, this book...

    Theo was Griffin's first love. They were best friends first, and then one day, Theo surprised Griffin by expressing his feelings for him, especially since they had never discussed either of them being gay. (This was Theo's secret; Griffin's was revealing to Theo that he knew he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.)

    "It's going to sound stupid, and I wouldn't ever say this out loud,

    I'm at about 4.5 stars with this one.

    Oh, man, this book...

    Theo was Griffin's first love. They were best friends first, and then one day, Theo surprised Griffin by expressing his feelings for him, especially since they had never discussed either of them being gay. (This was Theo's secret; Griffin's was revealing to Theo that he knew he was suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder and he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.)

    "It's going to sound stupid, and I wouldn't ever say this out loud, but the way Theo and I came out to each other was sort of like getting caught in a thunderstorm. Storms can suck when they're knocking out power and ripping apart houses, no doubt. But other times the thunder is a soundtrack to something unpredictable, something that gets our hearts racing and wakes us up. If someone had warned me about the weather, I might have freaked out and stayed inside."

    Griffin and Theo's relationship was truly special—they shared many inside jokes, romantic and goofy moments, and Theo tried to help Griffin deal with his OCD. When Theo gets the opportunity to attend college in California on early admission, Griffin has a feeling that being out of sight might mean out of mind with Theo, so he breaks up with him. But Griffin knows Theo is his endgame, and that they'll eventually find their way back to each other and their love.

    As Theo's first year of college unfolds, it's no surprise that he begins dating Jackson. Griffin does his best to be happy for his best friend, but he is hurting, and his pain is making his compulsions more intense. He knows that Jackson wants Theo to stop being friends with Griffin as well as their other best friend Wade. Griffin starts to wonder whether he should try and move on to, if the endgame he had always dreamed of has changed. And then, without warning, Theo drowns.

    Theo's death throws Griffin into a tailspin. He doesn't want to do anything—go to school, leave the house, anything except mourn for his true love and his best friend. To make matters worse, Jackson comes to New York for Theo's funeral and then stays for a little while, to escape from where the tragedy happened. Yet despite their mutual jealousy of the other, Jackson and Griffin start to open up to one another, since they're the only ones who truly knew Theo this way, and they're the only ones who feel this kind of grief.

    But no matter how much they confide in each other, the pain of Theo's loving someone else, coupled with Griffin's grief, is dragging him down. He wants nothing more than to shut the world out—Wade, his family, everyone and everything. He can't ignore the fact that his OCD is getting more out of control, though, and he's starting to hurt everyone else in the process. The only way he can attempt to move on is to try and come to terms with his and Theo's history, from start to finish—without varnishing over anything or avoiding the pain.

    This is an intense book, but it's not all as sad as you'd expect. I might have teared up a time or two, but I was surprised I didn't become more emotional given the subject matter. I think that's because Adam Silvera tried not to make the book

    heavy, even as Griffin and the other characters dealt with some serious grief, as well as unresolved anger.

    Silvera is such an excellent writer. His book

    made my list of

    .

    The book shifts back and forth from when Theo and Griffin's relationship first began to the present, and you wonder how everything is going to occur. I'll admit I struggled with Griffin's character a bit, because his grief made him a little too difficult to dealt with, and his selfcenteredness, while understandable, made him less than sympathetic at times. But as Silvera lets the whole story unfold, you can understand why he acts the way he does.

    I read about 90 percent of this book in a day. It's not an easy read emotionally, but Silvera immerses you in the story and makes you feel the emotions his characters do. The fact that the boys' sexuality was just presented in a matter-of-fact way, without experiencing any homophobia or people's difficulty accepting them, once again leads me to wish this type of YA fiction existed when I was a YA.

    See all of my reviews at

    .

  • Kai
    Jul 06, 2016

    is Adam Silvera's second novel, and it may be even better than his debut

    . Silvera tells a story of love, friendship and mourning in face of loss.

    Griffin loses his first love, best friend and ex-boyfriend Theo in an accident. Left behind and feeling lost and lonely in his grief, he recounts their history, their relationship, first-times, happy times and not-so-happy

    is Adam Silvera's second novel, and it may be even better than his debut

    . Silvera tells a story of love, friendship and mourning in face of loss.

    Griffin loses his first love, best friend and ex-boyfriend Theo in an accident. Left behind and feeling lost and lonely in his grief, he recounts their history, their relationship, first-times, happy times and not-so-happy times.

    We also see Griffin coping with Theo's loss and all he left behind: friends, families and a similarly broken boyfriend.

    Personally I loved Griffin's and Theo's story and the relationship they shared. There was sweet parts, sad parts and incredibly funny parts. But slowly and steadily the novel took a darker and heavier turn, secrets came out and even though Griffin tried to mend his brokenness, I didn't like the outcome.

    Griffin, the protagonist is a passionate Potterhead, suffers from OCD, and totally in love with his best friend.

    Theo, is his smart, equally geeky and a lovely best friend. Definitely my favourite character.

    Wade is the third boy in their squad, half grudgingly accepting his best friends' relationship under the promise that nothing would change if they ever broke up.

    Jackson, Theo's second boyfriend is haunted by his past and turns to Griffin after the accident.

    Adam Silvera's writing does many things to my poor heart. He is an amazing author, who can pull off unbearably funny at least as well as bittersweet and heartbreaking. He is definitely one of the most talented new voices in YA. He is able to give his readers everything they want: feelings on a silver platter topped with countless pop culture references as well as diverse and multi-dimensional characters. His stories are original and hard to predict, though sometimes a tiny bit too heavy for my taste.

    In a nutshell: Adam is a brilliant author, which probably makes me overly critical.

    is a breathtaking novel about love and friendship, teaching that letting go of someone doesn't always mean losing them.

  • Lola  Reviewer
    Jul 12, 2016

    I never thought I’d say something like this about an Adam Silvera book,

    , but here’s the ugly truth:

    Really,

    struggled.

    It’s not that it isn’t lyrically-written, like

    , because it truly is—and more.

    The writing is excellent, as is the m

    I never thought I’d say something like this about an Adam Silvera book,

    , but here’s the ugly truth:

    Really,

    struggled.

    It’s not that it isn’t lyrically-written, like

    , because it truly is—and more.

    The writing is excellent, as is the main character, Griffin. He constantly reminded me of Aaron Soto from Silvera’s previous novel.

    Which is not a bad thing in itself, since I adore tranquil, trust-worthy, open-to-love heroes struggling with personal matters and trying to find their way… coming-of-age style.

    There is no

    problem I can pinpoint about this novel, though I did feel rather unsatisfied about the way Silvera explored the ‘‘mental illness—OCD’’ theme.

    I will admit that I have no close family or friends with a mental illness similar to this one, so it’s safe to say that I can only imagine what it must be like and not

    understand it to the core of its definition, but I couldn’t help but feel that something sounded unauthentic about Griffin’s OCD.

    Plus I think that with the theme of death, and love, and grief, and coming-of-age, and friendship… it was a little

    to also try to develop a mental illness theme into the plot. Because the author really

    try to develop it—it’s not just that Griffin has OCD, but it really affects his life and the plot itself.

    Aside from that, I found Griffin’s first love interest (yes, there are multiple ones), Theo, rather unoriginal. I understood how he made Griffin feel special, but so many other people can do that, if they’re willing, so Theo looked just like one of many other guys to my eyes. The secondary characters also left me feeling like I should see something more in them—something different—but I couldn’t.

    On the bright side,

    is realistic enough to send waves of emotions through the reader during heartbreaking scenes, but lyricism isn’t enough. I’ll just say it:

    .

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  • ˗ˏˋmaggieˎˊ˗
    Feb 27, 2017

    I wasn't expecting

    from this one because it's Adam Silvera, and even though he only has 2 novels published, they're the kind of novels that one

    . That's how captivating and beautiful Silvera's writing is. It's gripping, convincing, intriguing, beautiful. History Is All You Left Me was something different than what I normally read. It's a contemporary, something I always have read, but it's di

    I wasn't expecting

    from this one because it's Adam Silvera, and even though he only has 2 novels published, they're the kind of novels that one

    . That's how captivating and beautiful Silvera's writing is. It's gripping, convincing, intriguing, beautiful. History Is All You Left Me was something different than what I normally read. It's a contemporary, something I always have read, but it's different. It has realistic issues like

    I really don't know where to start with

    . I don't know what to say about this, to be honest. It's great, believe me, but there isn't much I could say because the story is just

    and people just need to read it. Griffin is trying to piece himself back together after losing his first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, after being drowned in an accident. As Griffin is struggling with this loss, he realizes that there is no one else in the world that understands the pain he is feeling and going through except for Jackson, a guy who was dating Theo until Theo's death. Even when he thinks he can't surpass the grief he feels for Theo, the jealousy he felt for Jackson, and the fact that Theo is gone, he knows that all he can do right now to surpass this history

    The book changes the perspective between history and the present, whereas the

    perspective is about Theo and Griffin and their relationship/friendship where it mentions the first time they shared their first kiss, when they came out to their parents, when Griffin admitted to Theo that he is gay and that he likes Theo, when they had happy moments too when they broke up. The

    perspective is where Griffin goes to Theo's funeral, and from there it goes to him talking to Jackson, learning about Jackson and more about Theo, and even forming a friendship with Jackson when he didn't think about it.

    Admittedly,

    I am the worst person someone could come up to and ask for advice or comfort for this because I can't tell you "I've been there" or "I know what that feels like" and I'm not gonna lie to you, I really don't. Although I don't know what it's like,

    He was struggling hard to get over this loss and people didn't understand the pain he was feeling, even Jackson at times. He came to conclusion to accepting the fact, but it was hard and took a while. Griffin didn't have anyone that could help him and he didn't want anyone's advice and help either way. I felt

    and I could see why he felt what he felt. He was so in love with Theo and the way he would act around him was just so cute when they were dating. The history perspectives were obviously my favorite, and I enjoyed very much reading about his relationship with Theo and the happy moments they spent together and made.

    Like my friend Amber, it's difficult to write a review for this. I'm also stuck like she was. The only thing I can really say is

    Sure, I felt bad for Jackson as well, but sometimes I hated Jackson because I felt bad for Griffin. Does that even make sense? I came to the conclusion that I preferred Griffin and Theo together and I was just mad when I read the sentences stating that Jackson was dating Theo at the moment and not Griffin.

    One minute I'm laughing my ass off, the other minute I'm crying tears that I stained my book.

    He has a unique writing style, and I say that a lot about authors because I do believe that authors have a different style of writing although some don't show it and/or some readers don't believe it. Adam is different, and I mean that. His writing is beautiful and just by reading the first sentence to the last, the reader is left surprised, shocked, and relieved because of what they just read.

    I will say that I enjoyed this more than

    because Adam admitted that the realistic facts in this book are real and come from

    which I found out about thanks to Amber and Caitlin's review. The twitter

    is and I really didn't know about that until I saw it in their review. I love it when authors do that and they do it right. They write a story that might not be about them but include points that they dealt with, deal with, struggle with, or are trying to surpass. Adam didn't fail, and the way OCD was delivered in this book felt real as well. I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness/disorder and in no way do I make fun of it, but I have felt like I have one that hasn't been found yet by the doctors because I haven't asked them to or allowed them to and

    Like I said, I was laughing one minute and then suddenly, I found myself crying and wiping my eyes, my dark circles because I felt tears. The book is

    but it isn't only that. It's sad. Period. I never got around into reading LGBT books until last year thanks to my friend that always took LGBT books and told me they are "good" and I'm never disappointed. The book is supportive in every way when we come to discussing homosexuality. There are no homophobic's, even at school, which was something I was glad for. There are supportive parents who loved their songs as much as they did before and basically looked like they loved them more

    There's the dad that sees his son at Target buying condoms and "goes with the flow" telling his son "it's good that you're buying protection" because these two boys are about to have sex. There are friends that will hang out with these 2 boys no matter where they go, as long as they aren't the third wheel, which is relatable. Overall, the book

    It all depends on the reader and the emotions one can get.

  • Cait (Paper Fury)
    Jan 17, 2017

    And of course I love books that pain me so bless this book and the trees that were murdered to give it life. And although I

    have some quibbles about it, and it was actually severely sad/depressing to read....I'm really glad I devoured this one. IN ONE DAY I MIGHT ADD. I didn't want to put it down!

    It has the kind of writing that is just a

    dense to get t

    And of course I love books that pain me so bless this book and the trees that were murdered to give it life. And although I

    have some quibbles about it, and it was actually severely sad/depressing to read....I'm really glad I devoured this one. IN ONE DAY I MIGHT ADD. I didn't want to put it down!

    It has the kind of writing that is just a

    dense to get through and I couldn't speed read (which is my aesthetic tbh; because I do everything super fast) but it was really BEAUTIFUL and ADDICTIVE and full of emotion and poignant thoughts without being pretentious or annoying.

    I've read several books lately where the characters seem to just "turn their anxiety off" when it's inconvenient. That did NOT happen in this book which was such a relief.

    I do not have OCD and I'm not sure if the author does/does not. But as someone with anxiety, I related 100% to a lot of things Griffin goes through. It's important to find relatable books. It's important to see you're not alone and have that "omg this guy gets me" sort of moment. BLESS THIS BOOK FOR THAT.

    And by "amazing" I mean, they were absolute FRIKKIN HOT MESSES. But that's to be expected since a boy they all loved died in an accident. Theo was Griffin's ex...but also a boy he'd never really gotten over.

    Although emphasis on the HOT. MESSES. Because they make so many bad decisions. I wanted to smack them with a toaster. But who has their life together when they're suffering with intense grief??? Who is 18 and always makes good decisions??? So while, sure, they frustrated me at times: they were also

    and that's what I want to read about.

    We gotcha Star Wars and Harry Potter references.

    There is nerdom, puzzle obsession, making up of stories, trivia, random dance parties, and very intelligent people.

    I mean, PARTIALLY. In the beginning Griffin and Theo are being each other's first boyfriends and coming out and they're just so sappily and ridiculously in love it's aaaaaadorable. But, erm, the romance gets really MESSY...but more on that later.

    Because yes.

    Which is a big deal for me, a huge fantasy lover.

    Look when you start the book you know a few things: (1) Theo is dead; (2) Griffin was very very in love with him; (3) but they'd broken up. So get thee ready for a lot of people hooking up out of grief which is a bad idea btw, and people using each other like friends-with-benefits, which is also a bad idea btw...and lots of boys getting very very very hurt and heartbroken and damaged.

    WHY. STOP. USE BRAINS PERHAPS.

    But then Theo is DEAD so it's not your same-old-same-old triangle. But it has a lot of the vibes and it's a bit frustrating. I'm never a fan of triangles.

    He constantly called them that and thought they were endearing. I'M NOT SAYING THE BOOK CONDONED THIS. I don't think the book did at all!! Which is good!! But it was annoying to experience?? It made me dislike Theo (who was a bit of a manic pixie dream boy if we're being honest -- AND I'M ALWAYS HONEST) quite a lot. I also have no idea why Griffin's parents didn't intervene about his OCD earlier. They knew he had it???

    It deals VERY VERY STRONGLY with grief and this book isn't going to make you explode with glitter and sunshine. It

    . But it's so well written and I got really invested in the characters and I loved how it deeply explored OCD and I love how it ended. So much love omg someone's being sappy here.

    10/10 would be hurt and stabbed in the feels by a Silvera book again. <3

  • Kat O'Keeffe
    Jan 15, 2017

    This book gave me way too many feelings. I'd go from laughing at a cute scene to crying at a sad scene in a matter of minutes. IT WAS LIKE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH (in a good way!)

    I flew through this book over the course of a day and when I wasn't reading, I was thinking about when I could get back to reading. The characters were all so real and flawed, and they're in such a complicated situation. My heart just ached for all of them. I also particularly loved the dual timeline. It was perfectly woven

    This book gave me way too many feelings. I'd go from laughing at a cute scene to crying at a sad scene in a matter of minutes. IT WAS LIKE EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH (in a good way!)

    I flew through this book over the course of a day and when I wasn't reading, I was thinking about when I could get back to reading. The characters were all so real and flawed, and they're in such a complicated situation. My heart just ached for all of them. I also particularly loved the dual timeline. It was perfectly woven together in a way that fleshed out the complexities of this situation while really ramping up the tension. I can already tell that this is a book that will stay with me for a long time.

    If you're looking for a story that fully embraces the messiness of love and loss in a heart-wrenching and realistic way--THIS IS IT. READ THIS.

  • Elyse
    Feb 02, 2017

    "I don't know if I can stand hearing about your happiness with him, but maybe it'll

    help me understand you better. Maybe it'll help me add pieces to the puzzle of your life."

    Theo and Griffin - best friends since grade school - became 'boyfriends' when they were sixteen. Both with wonderful supportive parents...I laughed when Griffin's dad said..."That's wonderful, but no more sleepovers".

    Soon, in a very funny scene, Griffin and Theo run into Griffin's dad while in a drug store. Busted, Griffin i

    "I don't know if I can stand hearing about your happiness with him, but maybe it'll

    help me understand you better. Maybe it'll help me add pieces to the puzzle of your life."

    Theo and Griffin - best friends since grade school - became 'boyfriends' when they were sixteen. Both with wonderful supportive parents...I laughed when Griffin's dad said..."That's wonderful, but no more sleepovers".

    Soon, in a very funny scene, Griffin and Theo run into Griffin's dad while in a drug store. Busted, Griffin is holding a box of condoms and a bag of gummy bears.

    Griffin thought he'd rather be caught masturbating than this embarrassment.... but 'cool dad'..... ( after a 'little' pause reaction of course), just says...."protection is important".

    After an enlightening dialogue about the BEES & the BEES, Dad paid for those condoms with the items he was purchasing. The boys being gay - was so wonderfully natural,.... it was the smallest part of the story! Kudos to the author for gay being a non-issue-gender-issue.

    When Theo dies in a drowning accident, Griffin's universe is shattered.

    Jackson may be the new boyfriend.....but in Griffin's thinking, he had the longest 'love' history. FIRST LOVE is something 'very special'. He rules, and doesn't want to share his loss with some 'California boyfriend' Geeeezzzz!

    Griffin meets Jackson at Theo's funeral in New York.

    New-boyfriend, Theo, went to college with Jackson in California.

    At first - I'm sure Griffin wanted to throw darts in Jackson's eyes... but it didn't take long for Griffin to have a change of heart about speaking with Jackson.

    Griffin says:

    "But now--as vulnerable or pathetic as this sounds --Jackson is someone I'm turning to. I'm not strong enough to suffer alone."

    Author Adam Silvera alternates between the HISTORY and THE PRESENT.....through the eyes of Griffin. The grieving process takes on a life of its own-- with some surprising turns towards the end.

    First rate writing- a gem of a story!!!

    Themes explored are friendships, love, loss, grief, OCD, death, memories, laughter, fun times, faith, lies & honesty, with lots of warmth and tenderness!!