The Interpretation of Dreams

The Interpretation of Dreams

Freud's discovery that the dream is the means by which the unconscious can be explored is undoubtedly the most revolutionary step forward in the entire history of psychology. Dreams, according to his theory, represent the hidden fulfillment of our unconscious wishes....

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Title:The Interpretation of Dreams
Author:Sigmund Freud
Rating:
ISBN:1566195764
Format Type:Hardcover
Number of Pages:630 pages

The Interpretation of Dreams Reviews

  • Ahmad Sharabiani
    Mar 24, 2009

    Die Traumdeutung = The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: محمد خاور؛ تهران، کانون شهریار، 1328؛ در 55 ص موضوع: روانکاوی خواب دیدن - قرن 19 م

    عنوان: تعبیر خواب و بیماریهای روانی؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: ایرج پورباقر؛ تهران، نشر آسیا، 1342؛ در 462 ص ؛ چاپ پنجم 1378؛ چاپ هتم 1382؛ شابک: 9649067981؛

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: شیوا رویگردان؛ تهران، نشر مرکز، 1382؛ در 885 ص شابک: 9643056732؛ چاپ دوم 1383؛ چاپ سوم 1384؛

    Die Traumdeutung = The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund Freud

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: محمد خاور؛ تهران، کانون شهریار، 1328؛ در 55 ص موضوع: روانکاوی خواب دیدن - قرن 19 م

    عنوان: تعبیر خواب و بیماریهای روانی؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: ایرج پورباقر؛ تهران، نشر آسیا، 1342؛ در 462 ص ؛ چاپ پنجم 1378؛ چاپ هتم 1382؛ شابک: 9649067981؛

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: شیوا رویگردان؛ تهران، نشر مرکز، 1382؛ در 885 ص شابک: 9643056732؛ چاپ دوم 1383؛ چاپ سوم 1384؛ پنجم 1386؛ ششم 1387؛ هفتم و هشتم 1388؛ نهم و دهم 1389؛ چاپ پانزدهم 1393؛ شابک: 9789643056735؛

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: احسان لامع؛ تهران، پارسه، 1393؛ در 436 ص ؛ شابک: 9786002531810؛

    عنوان: تفسیر خواب؛ نویسنده: زیگموند فروید؛ مترجم: عفت السادات حق گو؛ تهران، شباهنگ، 1394؛ در 567 ص ؛ شابک: 9786001301100؛

  • Samar
    Jun 05, 2011

    -

    ينظر فرويد للأحلام على أنها أمور قد جرت في طفولتنا

    أو رغبات لم يعرها شعورنا اهتماماً في النهار السابق

    لتظهر لنا حلماً يجمع في داخله

    أمور عدة قد لا تتصل بعضها ببعض

    وقد تشير في تحليلها إلى أكثر من استنتاج

    ومن منطلق بسيط يصف لنا فكرة

    الحلم من أساطير القرون السابقة

    حتى الإستنتاج الحقيقي له ليدخل بنا في

    عوالم عدة منها : نسيان الحلم

    و تشوه صورته و إيقاضه لنا أيضاً في سبيل تحقيق

    الرغبة اللاشعورية التي تُكبح فينا

  • Dimitri
    Feb 16, 2012

    Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud is filled with Freud’s theories about the connections between dreams and real life that he has discovered through his research. Freud covers everything from the content within dreams to the strategies needed to interpret them, as well as diving in to the finer aspects such as memory in dreams and connections to everyday life. Freud often quotes the extensive research that has already been done in the field of the analysis of dreams but points out that al

    Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud is filled with Freud’s theories about the connections between dreams and real life that he has discovered through his research. Freud covers everything from the content within dreams to the strategies needed to interpret them, as well as diving in to the finer aspects such as memory in dreams and connections to everyday life. Freud often quotes the extensive research that has already been done in the field of the analysis of dreams but points out that all of the work so far has been inconclusive and in essence raised more questions than it answered. In this work Freud does his best to definitively answer the questions that we still had about interpreting our dreams.

    I thought that this book was really fascinating because it answered many of my research questions about the way our subconscious mind is connected to the events of our everyday lives and our memories. The most interesting part to me was the chapter entitled “Memory in Dreams” because he answered so many questions about different obscurities that appear not to be connected to any singular event. He pointed out that people often have dreams about some finite detail that they would never have expected to remember. This passage was so striking because he answered some of my questions about whether our subconscious thoughts are connected to our everyday life. It also made me realize how powerful our mind is and the fact that we actually pick up so many details in everyday life that we might toss away as insignificant but arise in our dreams.

  • Trevor
    Mar 25, 2012

    This was a much more interesting book than I thought it might be. The nature of dreams is something that is hard not to find fascinating. The thing is that we spend quite a bit of time dreaming – not the third of our lives we spend sleeping, but enough time to make us wonder why we dream at all. It seems incomprehensible that our dreams would be completely meaningless. But then, they can be so bizarre it is hard to know just what they might mean.

    Freud starts with a quick run through how dreams

    This was a much more interesting book than I thought it might be. The nature of dreams is something that is hard not to find fascinating. The thing is that we spend quite a bit of time dreaming – not the third of our lives we spend sleeping, but enough time to make us wonder why we dream at all. It seems incomprehensible that our dreams would be completely meaningless. But then, they can be so bizarre it is hard to know just what they might mean.

    Freud starts with a quick run through how dreams have been interpreted in the past – from Aristotle on. Aristotle is a good place to start, as he says we dream about things that have been left unresolved from the day – and this is a core idea that Freud also includes in his theory of dreams.

    Essentially, Freud sees dreams as playing a key role in helping us to process stuff that happened during the day. But dreams are a truth that likes to hide. Their meaning covers itself in remarkable allusions and images that are often amusingly apt, but sometimes it is as if we are determined to hide the true meaning of our dreams even from ourselves.

    Freud makes it clear that this will not be a book of off-the-shelf interpretations – ‘oh, you dreamt of a lion last night, that means you should have been born Leo and spent time chasing gazelle’. To Freud it is impossible to understand and interpret dreams from a list of standard symbols. This doesn’t mean that if you are going to interpret dreams you don’t have to know a lot about symbols and their common meanings – but this knowledge is never enough. Symbols develop their own meanings within the text that is the dream. Just as in Blake’s The Sick Rose the rose can be read to mean anything from nature, to the Christian Church, to female genitalia, so in dreams the interpretation is meaningful within the context of the dream and to the life of the dreamer. And the dream is relevant to the immediate life of the dreamer. It is generally a response to what happened that day – even if the imagery used may well refer back to the childhood of the dreamer so that the deeper significance is a life's work.

    The other remarkable conclusion Freud draws is that dreams are wish fulfilments. Now, this seems anything but obvious. Sure, when we have dreams we are having sex with super-models it is pretty obvious that Freud is onto something. But these aren’t the only dreams he sees as being wish fulfilments. Even dreams where loved ones die are seen by Freud as being fundamentally the realisations of wishes – but again, the dream isn’t always as easy to interpret as it might initially seem and the wish may not be as easy to understand as might be immediately apparent from what happens in the dream. The fact we wake screaming and shaking from a dream may not mean there is no wish involved in the thing that terrifies us – although, I would have to say I don’t think he dealt with nightmares nearly as well as he ought to have.

    It is here that Freud discusses the Oedipal Complex – how our first sexual attraction is toward the parent of the opposite sex to ourselves and therefore we desire to remove one parent from the scene so as to take their place. While we are children the full implications of this desire are obscure to us – but as we grow older the taboo associated with this desire helps suppress our recognition of these desires, or repress them, rather – but only from the conscious mind. The subconscious mind still remembers what we might prefer to forget and so uses these images, as the first images of our awakening desires, as potent images in our dreams. The meaning of the image may not be anything like that we want to kill our father and have sex with our mother – it might actually refer to an awakening of sexual interest in someone else we have only recently meet – but the dream uses this ‘primal’ image as something to help it make sense of our current world and desires, even if the image then goes on to confuse the hell out of us.

    Time for a story. I once worked with a woman called Frances Nolan. She was really lovely, one of the nicest people I’ve ever worked with, but I didn’t really fancy her. I mean, she was pretty and incredibly nice, but she was quite a bit younger than me and I just wasn’t really all that interested in her in that way. But every morning I would be walking to the train station and when I got to a certain part of Church Street she would suddenly jump into my head as large as life. I was starting to think that I must have been starting to fall for her – it was the strangest feeling, and quite confusing. Until one day I realised that there is a shoe shop in Church Street that is called Frances Nolan Shoes – and the sign is huge and I would walk under it every day. I really struggle to believe I didn’t consciously notice this sign in all the time I had walked up that street and imagined I was falling for poor Frances.

    This book is interesting as I had assumed it would be a much harder read than it turned out to be – I also thought it would be a much sillier book than it turned out too. It is extremely well written. I don’t think I agree entirely with Freud, but he makes a very strong case. My main problems with his theory have to do with Sherlock Holmes. Because that’s what a lot of this sounded like to me. Someone has a dream and Freud does the whole ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’ thing. It even gets to the stage where he says that sometimes things mean the opposite of what they seem to mean in the dream. When that is the case then any interpretation is basically about imposing ones preconceptions on the meaning of the symbols in the dream.

    I tend to think that dreams probably don’t mean nearly as much as we like to think they do – but what they do do is throw up lots of random images, images which we try to make sense of and it is that ‘making of sense’ that says interesting things about us. And whether it is dream images or tarot cards or ink dots on paper – our making sense of random images says interesting things about us. But we should go gently into this stuff. We should go on tip-toes. Because stories have lives of their own and we are weaker than a good story and always will be.

    I once read a book called Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. I think in that book she says that lines have a momentum that is very hard to control – but controlling the momentum of lines is a large part of what drawing is about. Stories also have a momentum that is very hard to control. The narratives we tell about ourselves are one thing – the narrative we tell about our dreams are quite another.

    Personally, I think I prefer Freudian readings of novels to Freudian readings of people – but I can certainly see why this book made such an impact. If the problem with the book is Freud playing Holmes, it is only a problem because he is so damn clever he gets away with it. I’m surprised I’m going to do this – I would never have thought I would have when I started reading - but I think I would recommend this book. It is a fascinating read, even if it has left me somewhat less than convinced.

  • لونا
    May 29, 2012
  • Ghada
    Aug 21, 2012

    مبدئياً الكتاب نسخه ملخصه و مختصره ... سهل للقارئ غير المتخصص... ربما أرجع للنسخه الكامله لاحقاً

    بالنسبه ليا الكتاب ما أضافش كتير ...معظم أفكاره معروفه و بعضها بديهي

    فيها يلي ملخص لبعض ما ورد في الكتاب

    لأن العقل الواعي مش عاوزنا نفتكرها, محتاجين فرويد علشان يطلعه من العقل الباطن :)

    لأن المعنى الحقيقي للح

    مبدئياً الكتاب نسخه ملخصه و مختصره ... سهل للقارئ غير المتخصص... ربما أرجع للنسخه الكامله لاحقاً

    بالنسبه ليا الكتاب ما أضافش كتير ...معظم أفكاره معروفه و بعضها بديهي

    فيها يلي ملخص لبعض ما ورد في الكتاب

    لأن العقل الواعي مش عاوزنا نفتكرها, محتاجين فرويد علشان يطلعه من العقل الباطن :)

    لأن المعنى الحقيقي للحلم مستخبي ورا الإحساس مش الأحداث... في مثال في الكتاب بيتكلم عن واحده شافت في الحلم جنازة إبن أختها و كان شيء عادي ما أثرش فيها أبداً -في الحلم- لكن فرويد بذكائه و تحليله اكتشف إن الجنازه دي كان الهدف منها إنها تشوف حبيب قديم صعب تشوفه غير في مناسبه مهمه :)

    و قيسوا على كده

    الإجابه: نعم

    أحياناً الواحد يكون متضايق من أبوه مثلاً في وقت من الأوقات و حاسس إنه عقبه في طريق سعادته, العقل الواعي يكبت هذا الإحساس لمده طويله و مش بيلاقي متنفس غير في الحلم

    لدينا في الحلم قطبان... أولهما الرغبه التي يريد النائم أن يحققها, و القطب الثاني هو الرقابه التي تحول دون تحقيق الرغبه إذا لم تحز رضاها... و الرغبه تنبع من اللاشعور, فهي مثل حرس الحدود الذي يمنع غير المرغوب فيهم من الدخول, و على غير المرغوب فيهم في هذه الحاله أن يتنكروا في أشكال و أزياء غريبه كي يفلتوا من الرقابه... و هذا هو السبب في الإلتواء و التنكر أو التشويه الذي يصيب بعض صور الحلم فيسبب لنا ذلك عجزاً عن الفهم و آلاماً أو خوفاً

    بناء على تجربة فرويد الشخصيه... الحلم له صله دائماً بأحداث اليوم السابق على الحلم

    العقل الباطن يستوعب ملايين المعلومات في الثانيه الواحده في حين أن الواعي يستوعب 7+/- معلومه فقط

    الفرق بين الإثنين بيطلع في الأحلام

    يعني لو حد حلم إنه شاف شيء ما في مكان ما و لما راح المكان ده لقى الشيء السالف ذكره زي ما شافه في الحلم ...ده معناه إنه كان شافه في المكان ده فعلاً لكن عقله الواعي كان مشغول بحاجه تانيه... و طلع في الحلم علشان الواحد كان عاوز الحاجه دي مثلاً

    مش معناه الواحد بقى -شيخ- وبينجم يعني

  • Alevtina
    Apr 05, 2013

    Wait a second. Why did I even pick up this book? Wasn't Freud like ... insane? Wasn't he absolutely and helplessly fixated on sex? Does he or does he not, label developmental stages words such as 'anal'?

    Oh, that's right, I major in psychology. Typical lunatics, us psych majors.

    It saddens me, that unless you have taken psychology courses or have done a fair amount of research into the field, you hold a very narrow view of Dr. Sigmund Freud. A doctor, with a medical degree from the University of V

    Wait a second. Why did I even pick up this book? Wasn't Freud like ... insane? Wasn't he absolutely and helplessly fixated on sex? Does he or does he not, label developmental stages words such as 'anal'?

    Oh, that's right, I major in psychology. Typical lunatics, us psych majors.

    It saddens me, that unless you have taken psychology courses or have done a fair amount of research into the field, you hold a very narrow view of Dr. Sigmund Freud. A doctor, with a medical degree from the University of Vienna, Freud later shifted his focus to psychiatry, realizing that his patients' mental health was at risk. He truly wanted to help people. That does not come across, even in psychology textbooks. However, you can definitely feel that in this book. I was surprised to find Freud's voice as an author(translation may have affected this) quite inviting.

    Many of Freud's findings about dream psychology were drawn from his own dreams. This creates a bias in his thinking. I will not deceive you, Freud did not try to be objective.

    However, I read this book casually. I did not study it. I did not look for flaws. What I did do however, is enjoy it. It was actually a very pleasant read, cover to cover.

    If you are interested in dreams, you will enjoy this book. Even of you don't agree with the conclusions Freud draws, I bet you will find his journey into dreams fascinating.

  • Owlseyes
    Jun 15, 2014

    A major book (of 1900) as one of the possible approaches to the world of dreams. Freud starts with Aristotle (and the demoniac view); then, the (biblical) approach viewing dreams as "Divine inspiration".

    Next, he proceeds with a very exhaustive sample of dreams of his own, of historical characters (Napoleon I, Xerxes....) or from his patients (or friends) to illustrate/prove his point:

    ;though "absurd" they may look, they are meaningful, th

    A major book (of 1900) as one of the possible approaches to the world of dreams. Freud starts with Aristotle (and the demoniac view); then, the (biblical) approach viewing dreams as "Divine inspiration".

    Next, he proceeds with a very exhaustive sample of dreams of his own, of historical characters (Napoleon I, Xerxes....) or from his patients (or friends) to illustrate/prove his point:

    ;though "absurd" they may look, they are meaningful, they can be interpreted.

    This absurdity is due to unconscious mechanisms which disguise the true meaning of the dream, namely, via "displacement" and "condensation". Our language is also an obstacle: due to its inaccuracy.Yet language is paramount for the interpretation démarche. And Freud was good at it.

    (Tom Paine's nightly pest)

    It's a pity he ends the last paragraph* of the book considering the value of dreams regarding the future (should have written:prophetic aspect) concluding: "

    we cannot consider". Curiously he took some lines on this woman telling his mother about how a "great man" he would become; he speculated about a "minister"... .

    ('The Interpretation of Dreams' by Rod Moss)

    The fact is that this "wish-fulfillment" approach proved not to be totally true. With the great war (1914-1918), Freud had patients/soldiers who suffered from recurrent dreams /war-traumas...and he concluded later on, that

    . So he made some changes on his model of the psyche.

    (Hypnos and Thanatos: Sleep and His Half-Brother Death, by John William Waterhouse, 1874)

    Today [15th of June] I was listening to someone** speaking about dreams of the "USA in flames...and riots in the streets". Those dreams happened to people before the 2012 Obama election. They perceived a link between the re-election and the feared "upcoming events". Surely, those were dreams of the future; no pleasure-principle operating.

    I'm glad they didn't "materialize".

    :I would be glad to hear of any help (interpretation) on Chief Golden Light Eagle's dream about Obama:

    *"And how about the value of the dream for a knowledge of the future? That,of course we cannot consider. One feels inclined to substitute:”for a knowledge of the past”. For the dream originates from the past in every sense. To be sure the ancient belief that the dream reveals the future is not entirely devoid of truth. By representing a wish as fulfilled the dream leads us into the future; BUT THIS FUTURE, TAKEN BY THE DREAMER AS PRESENT,HAS BEEN FORMED INTO THE LIKENESS OF THAT PAST BY INDESTRUCTIBLE WISH”.

    **

  • Afshar
    Sep 23, 2015

    جمله ای از موریس مترلینگ درباره خواب هست که دقیقا خاطرم نیست ولی

    :چنین مضمونی داشت

    این کتاب را خواندم چون دنیای خواب برایم خیلی شگفت انگیز است و کنجکاو بودم بدانم این خواب ها از کجا می آیند و چطور است که گاهی در بعضی خواب ها، آینده خود را به ما نشان می دهد؟

    سوال های ماورالطبیعه ایم حل نگردید ولی بجای ان با بُعد دیگری از خواب آشنا شدم؛یعنی فلسفه وجودی و جنبه روانشناسی اکثر خواب ها

    خواب ها معمولا با

    جمله ای از موریس مترلینگ درباره خواب هست که دقیقا خاطرم نیست ولی

    :چنین مضمونی داشت

    این کتاب را خواندم چون دنیای خواب برایم خیلی شگفت انگیز است و کنجکاو بودم بدانم این خواب ها از کجا می آیند و چطور است که گاهی در بعضی خواب ها، آینده خود را به ما نشان می دهد؟

    سوال های ماورالطبیعه ایم حل نگردید ولی بجای ان با بُعد دیگری از خواب آشنا شدم؛یعنی فلسفه وجودی و جنبه روانشناسی اکثر خواب ها

    خواب ها معمولا باقی مانده اتفاقات روز قبل هستند.خواب برای این است که کام های وازده را برآورده سازد تا روان انسان به آرامش برسد

    یعنی علاوه بر اینکه ما از لحاظ بدنی خستگی در می کنیم از لحاظ روانی هم تخلیه می شویم

    چگونگی تشکیل خواب را در آخرین قسمت ریویو آورده ام

    اینکه چطور این آرزوها و افکار پنهانی به رویا تبدیل می شوند و چنین رمزآلود و گاها پر از اساطیر و... می شوند حیرت انگیز است

    ادبیات و نقاشی و بیشتر هنرهای تجسمی و حتی خود سینما مطمئنا از خواب الگو گرفته اند

    یادمه در کتابی خواندم

    یکی از اعضای مهم گروه "بیتلز" آهنگ یا شعر ترانه معروف «دیروز» را در خواب دیده بود و روز بعد آن را نوشت

    احتمالا شعر بوده چون طبق این کتاب و تجربیاتی که خود در خواب داشته ام، همه یا بیشتر خواب ها بصورت صامت هستند

    :تعریف تعبیر خواب بصورت علمی

    بیشتر خواب ها زبانی نمادین دارند و این زبان گاهی ریشه ای هزاران ساله دارد که برای تعبیر آن باید شناختی از اسطوره ها داشت

    آیا هیجان انگیز نیست که خوابی ببینی که در آن گاها زبان مشترکی با اجداد هزاران ساله ات داشته باشی؟

    :نکاتی جالب در مورد زبان خواب و هم زبان کهن

    :چند مثال از رموز خواب در اینجا می آورم

    رمز «عبا» در خواب:

    آقای رایک می گوید:

    رمز پل : آقای فیرنزی در سال 1922-1921 آن را فاش کرد

    مقصود از امپراتور و امپراتریس و شاه و ملکه، پدر و مادر است.اطاق خواب به زن تعبیر می شود و غرض از درهای ورود و خروج مخرج های طبیعی بدن است

    علامات و اشاراتی که در رویا به کار می رود اغلب برای پنهان کردن اشخاص یا اعضا بدن یا اعمالی است که مربوط به شهوت رانی می شود.مقصود از اسلحه تیز و اشیا دراز و سفت و تنه درخت و عصا ، آلت رجولیت است و از گنجه و جعبه و درشکه و بخاری باید به عضو زن پی برد

    :مثالی از خواب دهشت آور یک دوشیزه که رموز جالبی در آن نهفته است

    نکته مهم:

    یکی از خواب های خیلی جالب که قبلا در نت آنرا بصورت معما خوانده بودم

    کمی خواب را تغییر و حالتی جنایی به آن داده بودند که اگر جواب درست میدادی برچسب قاتل بالفطره را بهت می چسباندند

    یک روانکاو به تنهایی نمی تواند خوابی را به وسیله رموز و نمادها تعبیر کند مگر به کمک شخصی که خواب دیده و تداعیاتی که این شخص از خواب خود دارد

    همه خواب ها را فقط تا حدی می توان شناخت و تعبیر کرد

    خواب در ادبیات هم جایگاه خاصی دارد و نویسندگان قدیمی و جدید از آن استفاده های زیادی می کنند.مثلا در کتاب «بار هستی» میلان کوندرا، خواب های ترزا بخش مهمی از کتاب هستند.حالا چقدر قبل و بعد از فروید درست تعبیر شده اند را نمی دانم

    اما خود فروید می گوید:

    زیگموند فروید برای اثبات نظریه هاش درباره خواب بیشتر با پزشکان جسمی اختلاف نظر داشت تا عامه مردم

    این پزشکان همانطور که در استاتوس آوردم روانکاوی را علم نمی دانستند و به خواب هم دیدگاهی مادی گرایانه داشتند

    :اما خود فروید دو نتیجه مهم از تحقیقاتش میگرد

    با استفاده از خواب می توان به ریشه بیماری های روانی دست یافت.در روانکاوی، خواب نقش خیلی مهمی دارد همانطور که خیالات غیرارادی دارند

    چون هم خواب و هم این خیالات برخاسته از درون آدمی است و می تواند قسمتی از وجود ما را که حتی برای ما ناشناخته است بما بنمایاند

    فروید در مورد سانسور غیرآگاهانه هم توضیحات جالبی دارد که باورمان شاید

    :نشود که بدون آنکه بدانیم افکاری را درونمان سانسور می نماییم

  • Glenn Russell
    Jan 02, 2016

    I enjoyed reading Freud’s book. When he speaks about dreams and their interpretation, I am reminded of a microfiction I had published years ago where the editor told me it was the weirdest story he has ever read and that a Freudian psychoanalyst would have a field day interpreting. Here it is below. If anyone would care to offer an interpretation according to Freud or any other school of psychoanalysis, I'm sure you could have some fun.

    The Roof Dancer

    Sidney and Sam, identical twins, crackerjack

    I enjoyed reading Freud’s book. When he speaks about dreams and their interpretation, I am reminded of a microfiction I had published years ago where the editor told me it was the weirdest story he has ever read and that a Freudian psychoanalyst would have a field day interpreting. Here it is below. If anyone would care to offer an interpretation according to Freud or any other school of psychoanalysis, I'm sure you could have some fun.

    The Roof Dancer

    Sidney and Sam, identical twins, crackerjack roofers, started work up on a roof one sultry July morning when Sam tripped on a piece of tar at the roof’s peak and slid down head first. He would have plunged straight to the ground if Sidney hadn’t reached over at the last moment and snatched him by his boots.

    Hanging over the side upside-down, Sam had a view through a second floor bedroom window. The lady of the house was completely naked. Her ample rear end was bobbing and swinging to a polka playing on an enormous ancient phonograph.

    Sidney yanked Sam back up to the roof but Sam became so excited in the process, he ejaculated his semen seed. By the time the seed popped out of the bottom of his dungarees, rolled off the roof and landed in the yard, it was the size of a cantaloupe.

    From all corners of the yard kids skipped over and began frolicking with the seed. Its round contour grew to the size of a watermelon in their hands.

    Sam stared down at the kids. He began a high-step gleeful dance, part mazurka, part gavotte, part rumba, part hornpipe right there on the roof, bottom to top, edge to edge, twirling like some enchanted wood nymph, his pot belly jiggling in pure ecstasy.

    It wasn’t long before the man of the house, a bald, mustachioed Mr. Verea, made his way up the ladder. “What’s all this racket I’m hearing?” he asked, scanning the roof.

    Sam pirouetted daintily at the peak, doffing his baseball cap. Mr. Verea grabbed Sidney by the suspenders and yelled, “Do you guys think I hired you to put a new roof on my house or perform ballet?”

    “Yes, sir, right away, sir,” Sidney stammered, beads of sweat pouring off his forehead and bulbous nose.

    Mr. Vera pushed Sidney rudely. “Now, I say, do it now!”

    Sidney wobbled backwards, nearly toppling over the edge but regained his balance and shoved Mr. Verea back. A rapid-fire shoving match ensued along the entire length of the roof. At the same time Sam fluttered down on tiptoe, scooped up an armful of shingles and started putting them in place.

    A fully-dressed Mrs. Verea made her appearance at the head of the ladder. “Get back down here,” she railed at her husband. “Let those men finish their work.”

    “Nobody is going to push me on my own roof,” he replied.

    “I say come down,” insisted Mrs. Verea.

    “Come down yourself,” said Mr. Verea.

    Stepping up from the ladder to the roof Mrs. Verea kicked her husband in the pants. He stopped shoving Sidney, turned around and started shoving her, whereupon she too started shoving him furiously.

    Sidney fanned himself with his baseball cap and looked over at his brother – just now, between acrobatic leaps of a saltarello, Sam placed the last of the shingles on the tar.

    As if he were at the court of Louis XIV, Sidney curtsied gracefully, then pointed to the ladder before climbing down himself. Sam followed, hips swinging but fell between the rungs. There was nothing for Sidney to do but guide the ladder, with his brother stuck in it, to the van.

    The kids approached; they held the distended seed, the shape and length of a garden hose now: translucent with flecks of gold, sparkling, radiating light in their hands. When Sam jiggled and kicked down the driveway, the kids shook the magnificent seed, each shake casting out fine gold dust that turned to streams of water when it touched the earth.